A question about dealing with repressed anger?

How’s best to rid yourself of rage, when you’re no longer in contact with the person who went out of their way to hurt you. Anger is obviously best dealt with directly, but what if you have no choice in the matter?

Can you offer me any tips (mature ones, please).
Brilliant answers!

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12 Responses to “A question about dealing with repressed anger?”

  1. Omgitshim1 says:

    A "person who went out of their way to hurt you", is a person who has revenge, spite, hatred tatooed on their knuckles or forehead. Such inner feelings do more damage to the person who harbours such feelings than they do to others (excepting physical damage of course).

    The anger you feel, is because you do not fully understand this persons motivation. You are still asking the question "why?", when you should be moving on to questions like "how is it best to respond to such a person?".

    Your anger initially can be dealt with by expressing the physical adrenalin boost it gives you by some physical exercise. Then, try to understand the enemy.

    There are many ways of dealing with a revengeful person. However, they usually follow one of the following general rules

    a) escalate the warfare (a child’s response to a child)
    b) try to talk to the person calmly to resolve the issue (an adult response to a child)
    c) belittle and humiliate the person further (a parental response to a child) – in other words punish bad behaviour in a child

    If you know that none of these methods work, then do nothing, say nothing, and ignore the person. That person does not exist. This is actually a form of c), but could be another strategy.

    Your rage will reduce over time as you become more experienced in dealing with such people. You will still feel the anger, but you will respond to it more productively and it will be less intense and less overwhelming.

    Anger is a form of insanity. It is used in warfare to make the enemy make a mistake. Never make decisions while you feel angry, except if your physical person is being threatened.

  2. The Question says:

    punch someone…
    get a punching bag…
    take martial arts…. something like that

  3. mabisking26 says:

    break something in a responsible Fashion or channel that anger into a positive rage than motivates you to succeed in spite of that loser who caused you anger.

  4. Hedge Witch says:

    I’d love to know an answer to this – so far all I have come up with is to just forget about the person that got me angry.
    I thought I had done a really good job until 4 years later I came into their sphere of contact again. All the old feelings of sheer rage and fury and hatred all came back at once – I was nearly sick with the feelings.
    I guess though that different things work for different people. One friend of mine took up kick boxing as a way to teach himself discipline and control (and to get fit) and reckoned doing that allowed him to work through issues with a clearer head until he came to the conclusion that the feelings he was having were only doing him harm and he was able to let go of them.

  5. Andrew M says:

    Take valerian root and punch a punch or pillow till you exhaust yourself,

  6. Where is my mind says:

    I usually go for a long swim. (I consider myself a strong swimmer) To me it’s better than running as by the time I have out ran the anger I’ve done a forrest gump! With a swimming pool I can just get out..

    Or

    Write a letter to ‘God’ (or your equivalent deity) write it all out, then go outside to a safe place and burn the letter..

    the best angry letter are the ones that never get sent.

  7. Luther T says:

    It depends on the type of situation that has caused the anger within you to blossom so i can’t give you a hardcore effective answer but best way i learnt to deal with my supressed anger was to just go on a jog, swim, anything that requires you to work up a sweat really. i don’t know what it is about working out but it releases chemicals in the brain that calms you down and takes your mind off things, especially swimming,
    if however you dont workout, only method i can think of is that you do something constructive i.e. draw, play piano, ORRRRR find something addictive (NOT DRUGS!!PLEASEEE lol) i’m referring to computer games or something similar, it’s good that the person is no longer there, which means it won’t further your rage.
    good luck though, i’m rooting for you 🙂

  8. STFU_0123 says:

    Someone mentioned getting a punching bag. Its really not a bad idea however it may only be a temporary fix. When your out and start feelings angry and your full of rage, your punching bag is not going to be there…What you need to practice is self control. Repressed anger could spiral downward to where you start hurting people and or yourself emotionally and or physically. This is something you should deal with directly as you mentioned, but not with the person whom you are mad at, but with yourself. Counseling is a good option as well as yoga as it will help you relax a bit. Stress and boredom may only make matters worse so productive things to keep your mind off the anger I think will help and improve you greatly in long run. This issue is not always something that can be dealt with by yourself infact, it wouldnt be easy..so as I mentioned try counseling. If you have someone whom you are close too and are very comfortable with dont be afraid to talk and vent to them about how your feeling either. Ask them that next time your feeling angry if it would be okay to call them. This person should be someone who will make you feel better and calm you down when angry.

  9. Sir Lexus Pilled Up Frank says:

    Certainly any activity that involves energy being expelled will help. Running flat out and shouting helps, primal scream therapy where you just keep roaring until you are exhausted is good too. One point about anger, if understood and channelled effectively it can be your friend. I have been in a similar situation and it is very frustrating, you are fuelled with a terrible need to strike back at your foe. You must turn those destructive feelings around and let the energy nourish your plan to get even, nothing will soothe your anger than the feeling you get with revenge, a dish best served cold. Bide your time and think…think at how you can make yourself feel better and get even, nobody had the right to make you feel this way!

  10. Questioned M says:

    Anger;

    First off the main 4 reasons why a person can get angry is because;
    1) You haven’t forgiven something or someone
    2) You haven’t accepted something or someone
    3) Impatience
    4) Suffering due to desires

    Whenever you feel angry ask yourself which one is it and then tell yourself to, forgive the person, accept the person or whatever it is you are not accepting, and third if you feel impatient of something try to calm yourself and be patient.

    Accept by being okay with it; When you see something that you possibly can’t accept and if it can be changed than try to change it(it has to not be harmful to anything or anyone) and if you can’t change it then just accept it, if you don’t accept it, you will get angry.

    Forgive by "letting go of the past"; When you are forgiving someone they do not win. What you get from forgiving is an eased mind, so you can get through your days not steamed up, and getting through the day happy.

    Patient by organizing, jot out what to do for the day, wait.

    Okay this is a very good quote for anger;

    "Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned."

    What it means is when you are angry you are only damaging yourself and only yourself and you are not benefiting yourself at all.

    Anger will not and has not ever benefited you in any situation, only it has made you steamed up, unable to think clearly, makes you do crazy things that you will later regret and it will ruin your mood and if you hold it long enough, you will ruin your day and weeks with anger, unless you try to be calm by accepting, forgiving, and being patient.

    Suffering from desires is for example when you see a random girl or guy and you assumed that they were the love of your life so then you desired them; you crave, want, them, so then you get this feeling of wanting, but then you found out that they were married, so then that feeling of desire is gone and then you suffer because that feeling of desire felt so good, but then its gone. Another example is when you desired or craved the feeling of love that you have with your girl/boyfriend but then they broke up with you so then that feeling of "love" you were so attached starts to fade, so then we have that feeling of suffering. This is why couples suffer after break ups is because they were so "attached"(desires lead to attachment) to the feeling of love, but then when its gone, they want that same feeling back, so they suffer and when we suffer we inflict our suffering feelings such as anger onto ourselves and others.(ever notice that happening?) this also goes for desiring clothes; you crave a nice clothing or car and then you start to desire it, but then you’ll get bored of the clothing so then the feeling of desire is gone, so you don’t feel the same after that, so you will suffer, feel like shit, but instead you could have just not desired it from the beginning.

    “Desires come and go” (when you desired and then the desire is gone, you’ll suffer for desiring in the first place, so try to resist )
    "To want is to suffer" ( the root of desire is wanting )

    To take an insult;
    When you hear something possibly insulting or something you don’t like then don’t "accept" the insult. When you accept an insult or take it to thought then it will have effect on you, while on the other hand you could have just not taken it into you. Think about it an insult is just a word off another person or written, entering your ears or eyes, and it can only be in effect is if we bring it into us. So inside your mind give the insult back to the person.

    When you also see someone angry try to be understanding also such as; this person could be angry over, not accepting, not forgiving, misunderstanding, impatience. Be understanding just like how you can get angry to. Don’t get annoyed at someone who gets angry to because 2 wrongs don’t make a right.

  11. loovontatt says:

    anger is very powerful why not use this anger energy to create something good and positive …help someone and better yourself by moving forward instead of dwelling on hurt from your past

  12. angelcarrot says:

    well i ll tell u wat i do. i just write it down like what makes me angry, why im angry, whos fault it is, im not the shouting, punching, breaking type i like serene, calm relations lol

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