Can Someone Please Explain This (dating Question)?

I have been living with my current girlfriend since the beginning of the year (about 5 months). I have enjoyed living with her and I think it has worked out well so far. I’m starting to wonder though.
A couple months ago she asked if we could take a vacation together somewhere. She wanted to go to a music festival in Gulf Shores, Alabama. That sounded like a fun idea to me and I was all for it. Once we started planning the trip, the costs were really starting to add up so I asked her if she wouldn’t mind taking a vacation somewhere else. She was disappointed but understood and we settled on going to Yellowstone National Park for a week. She seemed genuinely excited about going, so I bought the plane tickets and we both notified our bosses that we would be taking vacation that week. Then a couple weeks later she started behaving differently.
I live in Peoria, IL and had planned on driving back to Indianapolis for Mother’s Day weekend to see my parents. Kara has never been to Indy and expressed some interest in meeting my parents and seeing the city where I grew up. She works a second job on the weekends and told her boss ahead of time that she was going to take the weekend off. A couple days before we were supposed to go she gets cold feet and tells me she won’t go. I went home without her that weekend, not happy but determined not to let it bother me, saw my folks, celebrated Mother’s Day then went back home.
After I got back things were pretty normal. Just another week at work, nothing too exciting. That Thursday, she comes home from work and told me she was having a terrible day. She asked me if we could go out for drinks at Applebee’s. I had been planning on taking her out the following night, but since she was having a shitty day I said sure, no problem. We ate dinner, I took care of the bill, then we went home.
We made plans to see a movie the next day, so I picked up some vouchers at work and met her for an early dinner as soon as I got off work. That’s when she tells me that she’s not feeling well and “wants to do her own thing”. Obviously, I’m pissed because we made plans and I followed through on my end. I told her she could do as she pleased, but I made it clear I wasn’t happy. After dinner we went our separate ways. I went back to the apartment and decided to call it an early night. Kara, on the other hand, didn’t come home.
She shows up at the apartment the following afternoon and informs me that she didn’t go to work again. She tells me she went to a party at her ex-boyfriend’s sister’s apartment and spent the night there. On the floor. By herself.
I am, by nature, a very suspicious person and hearing this news about her boyfriend didn’t sit well with me. I’m not the type who will tell her who she can and can’t hang out with, but I’d much prefer she spend Friday night with me instead of him.
Next day, we go out and get coffee, take a walk and do some work on our laptops. Things are fine. We go back to work the next day. After work she texts me and tells me she’s having a panic attack and goes over to her friend’s house (from work, panic attack is work related). That evening I go on Facebook and change my relationship status to “In a relationship” with “Kara”.
Yes, we’ve been dating for 8 months, been living together for half that time and we still never acknowledged that we were dating.
She doesn’t come home that night. She shows up the next morning and tells me we need to talk. After work she sits down and tells me her feelings for me have changed and she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with anymore.
For obvious reasons, beginning with the vacation and all the other bullshit, I am stunned and not really sure what to make of this. I tell one of my buddies about what has happened and he tells me I need to get out of the relationship ASAP. She’s been staying at her friend’s the last 2 weeks while I search for an apartment.
This past Friday, I met up with one of my friends who went to high school with her ex. Apparently, they talked and it sounds as if Kara has been leading him to believe that her and I weren’t (aren’t?) in a relationship, just friends living together. He clearly still has feelings for her and I believe that she is trying to manipulate him.
I have never met this guy before, he doesn’t seem like a scumbag, but I want to know what’s going on. Am I overstepping my boundaries if I go behind her back and talk to him? One of my coworkers is married to the friend from work she’s been staying with, she’s been living in his house. They are nice people, but like I said, I want answers. I spent $ on this trip and I’ll be damned if she’s just going to blow me off.

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2 Responses to “Can Someone Please Explain This (dating Question)?”

  1. ravi says:

    just reveal about her….she is a *****

  2. thomas t says:

    She is obviously unsable and unable to commit to u or anyone at this point in her life, she may never change or ever be any different than this and whoever she winds up with will be in the same place u are now only married to her and always wondering what is her problem. I would just move on from this and feel lucky to have escaped her drama. And besides why would u live together if ur just in a “dating” relationship with no true commitment?

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