Dealing with Disappointment?

As i have mentioned in a couple of questions on here i have a half-sister i’ve not seen since i was 14 and she was 2. That was 16 years ago now.

Yesterday i contacted the Salvation Army family tracing service and they said they cant help as my mum and dad weren’t married.

So now i am back to square one and it hurts like hell. I have no idea where to turn now and i feel like giving up.

So how does one deal with a huge disappointment?

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6 Responses to “Dealing with Disappointment?”

  1. Linus says:

    Disappointment is the feeling that results when someone is let down or left with unfulfilled expectations. It can be something as simple as being stood up for a lunch date or as serious as a being deserted by a friend in the darkest hour of need. If not dealt with in an appropriate manner, disappointment can lead to bitterness and a host of other damaging emotions and behaviors.
    Recognizing Disappointment

    The world we live in is far from perfect and disappointment is easy to recognize. It manifests as a hollow feeling inside; the feeling of being let down and even betrayed. Feelings of hurt, disbelief and shock often accompany disappointment and the stronger the relationship to the person involved, the greater the disappointment.
    Understanding Disappointment

    Disappointment is a natural reaction, a normal response to being let down, especially by those who seemed trustworthy. In fact disappointment can be described as a breach of trust; the failure to fulfill a promise or an expectation. It is not something that should be laughed off or disregarded but rather something that needs to be worked through until healing comes.
    Dos and Don’ts

    · Don’t be eager to make new plans, change jobs or cut off relationships

    · Don’t lay the blame entirely on the other person
    Don’t lash out and try and inflict pain as revenge

    · Don’t say “I don’t care” when you really do

    · Don’t assume that you know the whole truth behind what happened

    · Don’t allow disappointment to develop into bitterness

    · Do ask questions and try and understand the situation better

    · Do examine your actions and see if you contributed in any way

    · Do talk it over with a friend or counselor

    · Do offer forgiveness even if it is not warranted
    Long Term Effects of Disappointment

    Repeated disappointments or even one big disappointment can lead to a miserable life if not dealt with. The important thing to remember is that disappointment is probably harming the victim more than the person who caused it. People who are unable to forgive are often bitter, self-centred people who trust no one. They are unpleasant to be around and their behavior perpetuates the problem. No one likes to be around people who ooze resentment and self pity.
    How to get over Disappointment

    After working through the dos and don’ts above, recovery is basically a decision. A choice has to be made to forgive and emotionally release the one who disappointed. The decision won’t necessarily remove negative feelings, but if stood by, will eventually bring healing and release. It does not mean trusting that person again, or doing business with them, but forgiveness will bring personal freedom.

    Disappointment affects everyone from babies up to old people and it is important to deal with it in a constructive manner. When struggling with a particularly big disappointment, remember that forgiveness and mercy are essential for healing. Finally, remember that dealing with disappointment is a process and something that crops up in life on an ongoing basis. Victorious people are those who have learned to deal with it.

  2. pureness says:

    You’ll find her – I know you will!
    Don’t give up hope

  3. BBC2 Controller says:

    There are two issues, your expectation and the outcome.

    You have done as much as you can currently think of so be proud of yourself for that.

  4. ilovepiano says:

    I’m sorry to hear that. I’ve had many disappointment and it’s totally deflating. Even stupid things like getting my hopes up for a perfect part time job and not getting it…but my brother getting it instead. I don’t wish to sound blunt but the heavy feeling will pass after some time, try and be gentle with yourself. You could write down in a journal how you feel or talk to a friend? Have you written down all the information you can? Do you have contact with your mum and dad? Have you asked them about what they know?

  5. soz87 says:

    dont give up hope, focus your attention on other ways to find her like genes re-united or ever email some chat shows asking for help, iv heard of them finding lost family members before. if you know her full name try facebook, myspace etc, you could even take out an ad on google, chances are she or someone she knows will use google.
    hope you find her.

  6. Daariaaana says:

    I totally understand you, first sorry my english is bad but i hope u understand me, I have a half sister i never meet, i try to find her but i couldn’t and i almost give up, then i really found her but she doesn’t wanna contact because she grow up in a really rich family and i was by our mum, she couldn’t handle the past, i was so disappointed and i had to deal with that, life is about disappointment but you shouldn’t let yourself down fight for the thinks that are important for you, life isn’t easy and it doesn’t go always the way we want it to be, but never give up on hope, maybe there is another way to find her, search over tv maybe, never give up on something you really want, disappointment is a part of life where we really learn something, so except it and move on, it is not the end life goes on, you shouldn’t let yourself down, move forward and fight again, remember if it isn’t good in the end it isn’t the end, sure life doesn’t always have a good end but there are more opportunities to find here so deal with it move forward and start all over again. My best wishes and good luck

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