Dealing with rape??!!!!?

I was raped by a stranger 11 years ago, when I was 18. He followed me home after a night out and broke into my home as I slept and raped me. I woke to someone standing over my bed…. Well the rest wasn’t nice!!
He was never caught!

I thought I had dealt with it and moved on with my life, but recently it’s come to the fore front of my mind. Nothing in my life is bad, im not stressed etc and I cannot work out why it’s affecting me again.
I think about it all the time, wake from sleeping thinking there is someone in the room with me, have flash backs and nightmares.

I just can’t work out why It has suddenly emerged again. I had a lot of therapy at the time and it has not been an issue for some years.

Has anyone had similar experiences or any advice?
Wow thank you for all the kind caring answers everyone.
I’m really touched x

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11 Responses to “Dealing with rape??!!!!?”

  1. Angela says:

    Hey Sarah

    It’s completely normal for such a horrific event to still be ‘there’ in your mind and pushing it aside like others have suggested will not work. It will always be there and will come back and then go away and so on for many years. So don’t stress too much about your recent flashbacks (I know it’s hard, but reacting to our brains anxiety reinforces the anxiety, if you get me)

    I was sexually molestered when I was younger and my experience still affects me to a certain extent but cognitive behavioural therapy has helped me tremendously. I still get flashbacks and I have triggers but i have dealt with the event and now talk about it matter of fact rather than emotionally.

    I think you did a brilliant thing by getting therapy assistance in helping you deal which such an awful event in your life and perhaps therapy can help you again to help you deal with the emerging flashbacks and to possibly explore triggers which you may not be aware of at the moment.

    I hope this helps

    Best wishes

  2. Orley says:

    Will I know it’s hard but you have to face it.Don’t let thing bother you try to focus on the future.Let it not be a fear let it go out in a peaceful way.My opinion if you can’t stop thinking about it try to talk to somebody your close to or a therapist.Hope you can go through this:D

  3. Amir says:

    You may be going through hard times or may just now start feeling post-traumatic stress (PTS) and i barely know you but I love you and care for you and I think you should talk to a therapist or get an expert opinion. <3

  4. Legen-wait for it- dary! says:

    I’ve never experience this, but this is what I think you should do.. I think you should pick up a hobby/sport which involves combat and self defence… E.g boxing, kendo, Krav Maga, karate, fencing, archery, Kung fu

    Something with combat in, because I think you have anger stored in you deep down that you have never released or gotten rid off, and with a sport/hobby involving combat, you can take your anger out..
    You can also buy a punching bag.

    I hope I have helped and wish you the very best in life.
    Good luck

  5. Luminous says:

    i know that maybe you stopped believing in God because of what happened to you, but i think you should try spirituality to heal yourself. Happiness is the purpose of life, try to be as happy as you can, but give spirituality a try if you don’t believe in God try buddhism.

  6. xparasiticx says:

    It could be post traumatic stress disorder, it can affect you later on in life. For example, I burned my stomach when my son was two months old when I was sterilizing bottles for him. I was terrified afterwards and wouldn’t sterilize bottles. Then a month or so went by it turned into PTSD and took over my life. I couldn’t even cook or boil water. I didn’t cook for over a year and when I started again then my stove caught on fire, and it happened all over again. I got help for my ptsd and im now able to cook again. I’m also a victim of rape, it happened in August and it’s slowly affecting me now, especially because I knew the guy. I’m sorry that happened to you. Talk to your doctor and ask about PTSD, hope this answer could help.

  7. Fuego. says:

    I tell you what I think, but know that I have of course never experienced anything lika that and I hope never to, anyway here is my advice: laugh about it. Understand that guy in reality ‘raped himself’, of coruse better say than done I suppose so if you think my advice is offensive, then just go to therapy I guess.

  8. James K says:

    Wow, I’m so sorry you had to experience such a horribly thing….and the flashbacks
    Have you been able to love a man?
    Perhaps being with someone who can protect and comfort you at night and during sleep?

  9. Claire says:

    I’m so sorry to hear this.
    I was also raped 6 years ago and it never seems to go away…comes up at the most random times and difficult to cope.
    I thought i was the only one that still feels affected by it after a long time.
    Rape risis are quite good why not try getting in touch with them?
    Try and work through it with help instead of suffering in silence.
    Wish you lots of luck.

  10. Belle says:

    Hi, i myself have dealt with sexual abuse when i was young,i never got the help i needed which is why i think it has manifested and become such as issue for me
    i certainly find that when life goes ‘bad’ i start getting flashbacks and i go into a ‘depression’ which i think i’ve never really recovered from, but it gets worse with the added trauma i feel like i’m reliving..
    i wonder if there has been an subconscious triggers, that you are unaware of?
    anyways thats all i can think of right now, take care

  11. TheRavenAZ says:

    Get a dog. A dog will bark if they hear anything suspicious and most will fight off intruders. Even small ones will do their best.

    Knowing you’ve got a protector who thinks the sun rises and sets by your will, and would lay down their life for you should make you feel much more secure and able to sleep.

    Also learning some self defense and being able to defend yourself works wonders chasing away fear. Knowing how to disable – and if necessary seriously injure an attacker – will build your confidence of being able to defend yourself.

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