Essay Question: Could You See My Essay And Point Out The Problem?

could you please revise my essay please?
Today, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
In current society, advertisements are playing an important role. Businesses use advertisements to notice consumers and buyers always attracted by interesting commercial advertisements. Many people state that the needs of the society are increasing due to the increasing sales, however, in my standpoint, I think the high sales fail to show the real need. On the other hand, it was the result of the negative influence of advertisements.
First of all, advertisements are not one hundred percentage reliable. In order to attract buyers as many as possible, companies tend to display some interesting or beneficial sides on their commercials. They may just say their products are delicious, but hide the truth that the food are lack of vitamins.
Besides, since the development of technology, advertisements can be seem at every corner of the world. Once people face a choice, they would subconsciously take the one they are familiar with, the one they had heard or seem from TV over hundred times. So, some products would have higher sales than others.
Furthermore, advertisements use persuasive information force people, especially youth. Commercial advertisements apply the fact that children are weak at resisting, so they ask celebrities to advertise their products and pay them money. Many young loyal fans would purchase the product no matter how much it costs. Thus, companies gain profits, celebrities get incomes, but consumers have useless things. The consumption increased, but cannot reflect the real needs of society.
In conclusion, the effect of persuasive advertisements only bring up the level of sales, but do not reflect the real level of needs. We can just learn the power of advertisement from sales.

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