How should I deal with rape?

Not that long ago I was raped while making my way home from a friends house.

I was attacked in an alleyway and raped more than once. Since this happened I have suffered from a lot of emotions. Especially depression. I also feel that I have started drinking more and I have also become more promiscuous. I am still going out as before although I am more careful now.

I am not sure I am dealing with this the right way. How have others coped with been raped?

This is a very private issue but I personally don’t mind openly talking about it. If anybody would rather talk in private then I understand. Send me a message if you want to.

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20 Responses to “How should I deal with rape?”

  1. onlymatch4u says:

    This is not an easy thing to deal with and being violated like that affects your ability to have a day without it being on your mind. You can never forget it, but you can deal with it by facing some issues that are set up as conflicts in your mind. It is these conflicts that your mind cannot deal with because you can only think of one thing at a time in your conscious mind. When you are thinking about the event(s), you cannot clear your mind to think of other things. This conflict sets up chaos and affects your emotions negatively, so it affects your ability to reason out the truth of the event(s).

    It is normal for your brain to avoid facing reality of bad things. It is a protection mechanism and this is not an issue that you can ignore. Many people’s brain block out terrible things on a conscious level, but are in constant conflict subconsciously affecting them greatly.

    There are some mind techniques that will help you greatly deal with the reality of this event(s) and take away the trauma. You need to do this for your health. These mental events like this are called "interference fields" and they can be both mental, as well as physical. You will carry these to your grave if you don’t deal with them and they will definitely affect your overall health.

    EFT (emotional freedom techniques) is an excellent way to help you with all this. The basic information is free to you. Go to:

    http://www.emofree.com/

    You can purchase detailed study of this technique, but the basic information will help you greatly and you may find you don’t need to purchase the total package.

    Good luck to you

  2. Jessie James says:

    You need councilling. Best wishes.

  3. Katrina says:

    I have been raped twice. Once when I was 16, that was how I was introduced to the world of sex. I spiralled down into drink and drugs. I came out of it though eventually. I was then raped when I was 21. I joined a support group this time and went to the police and I got the person who did it locked up and their was alot of investigation to go through aswell as I didnt know my attacker and I didnt get a good look at face, it was all cctv and dna and thankfully I got the B****** locked up. Really looking back on both times, when i was doing drugs and drinking all it did was make me worse so i reccomend you stop sweetie, join a support group and dont let the attacker win xx

  4. healthgirl says:

    I am very sorry that happened and I will pray for you. Get some counseling and pray to Jesus if you believe in him. Always remember that rape is not your fault and you are not alone.

  5. Gabi says:

    I’ve never been raped, luckily. I really wish you the best. You need to talk to a parent or friend; even a doctor. Ignoring it won’t help you cope with it. Good luck.

  6. STEVEN B says:

    Rape/Sexual Abuse Support
    http://www.rasasc.org.uk Support for Female & Male Survivors Confidential UK National Helpline
    Search ResultsCoping with rape. Don’t suffer alone. Real help.No kid should ever ever have to deal with those things. … Find a rape crisis center or any organization that can help you deal with your emotions after an …
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  7. Sarah says:

    I hope that pig burns in hell!!!

    Find the positive in something everyday and focus on it no matter how small or stupid it is. A lot of days you will have to dig deep to find it, even if it is splurging on a dessert or watching your favorite TV show, but you must find something positive everyday to keep you going. This will also help train your brain that you can block out the negative.

    Remember that you can’t change the past so stop focusing on it with – shoulda, coulda, woulda – because it doesn’t matter since the past can’t be changed. If you are focusing on something you wished you would have done differently or beating yourself up with something you did, then you do not believe it wasn’t your fault,

    Focus on what you DO have control of and that is your future!

    Good Luck xxx

  8. mika's-lollipop-girl says:

    Well I’ve not been raped but I have suffered severe, violent sexual abuse & assault for a year & half when I was 14 years old & was almost raped on a few occasions (by a different guy) I went for counseling it was the best thing for me! It really helped!

    btw if you want someone to chat to i’m always here!

  9. Randall says:

    Blessed are the mercyful – if no one ever wronged us would we have a chance to be mercyful? Mercyful people are blessed. Forgive and avoid wearing sexually exciting clothing or going into places that are poorly lighted.

  10. ∀ηη∀βR! (Annabri) says:

    i’m so sorry that happened to you. that’s awful.

    but, please, if you find out that you got pregnant because of it, please do NOT get an abortion. it’s not fair to the infant.
    that’s like getting beat up by some random stranger so you go kill someone else.

    sorry about the lecture but in case you didn’t catch on, i’m pro-life.

  11. xotaylorxox says:

    Personally, i think drinking is just a cover up. You should go to counsling to fix your drinking problems because once your sober, your feelings come back. And about your situation, I think you should go to a physcitrist (spelling?). Not cause i think your crazy, because I dont, but because when you hold your feelings in, they build up; you should talk about them. that might help.

    What has happened to you in truly sad and im deeply sorry.
    I wish you the best of luck in life 🙂

  12. RH<3DH! says:

    Its hard i was kidnapped and sexully attacked over a few days by a friend of my fathers years ago.
    You dont get over it and there isnt a way to cope with it you just dfo it the best way for you
    Having someone to talk to helps, maybe see a councilor
    Try and think yourself more of a survivor than a victim.
    I started to feel sorry for the man who hurt me because i know he had many many problems and he was messed up himself. Its ok to think like that. dont try stop feelings and thoughts they are good to come out, this is when a councilor comes in handy.
    good luck, PM me if you want to talk more x

  13. nubian says:

    Firstly, I am sorry that you have been through such a traumatic ordeal. Secondly, you are VERY brave to be using this medium as a way to get advice. I only hope that you do not receive insensitive remarks.

    However, there is no right way to deal with rape. Your varying emotions and even your promiscuity are all normal behaviours. Some people never get over rape. My only advice would be to talk to a professional. Believe or not; you have suffered a loss and this can be a massive deal to come to terms with.

    Your drinking is a symptom of what you are feeling and you are using it to cope. PLEASE seek professional help for what you have been through. Your drinking can turn into something that you no longer have control over and that will be yet another thing that you have to confront.

    Give yourself time and do not under any circumstances start doubting or judging yourself. If you are unsure of where to start, perhaps you should talk to your GP; who will be able to refer you. Rape counselling or general psychotherapy will be an asset to you.

    Please look after yourself. You’re obviously reaching out for help; just be mindful of where your seeking the advice. There are some cruel people that use this forum…Good Luck.

  14. Orita J says:

    Usually, in the the phone book you should be able to find a rape hot line to talk to councelors, or contact your local police thats why they are there!! I am very sorry this happen to you know one should ever have to go through it alone.

  15. Heather V says:

    i dont really knoe how others coped wit being raped..but man..ur strong..i dnt know if i woulda been able to do that…but did u report the person that did it..women these days arent reporting it so that they can help lock that asshole up…so that it could help prevent hellacious incidents like this from ever reoccurring…i wish u the best of luck…butt if u really r sexually active i hope that ur using protection…cause the HIV thing has been spreading…did u hear about montery trails high school…they did a test over there…n like over 50 of their students got it…it was said to have been spread by one person…so just b careful…UR SUPER STRONG N AWESOME….good things will come to those who keep trying and never give up…so live a strong happy n long life…god bless you…

  16. Andy says:

    Hi Sophia, First of all I want to tell you how sorry I am that this happened to you. I have never in my life experienced that but I can imagine that being raped is a very personal abuse on a persons physic not to speak of her body. I am a 65 yr old woman and I have experienced many things in life but not that and I sympathasize with you because that is not something you can just throw into the back of your mind and pretend it never happened. I’d say that counceling would be good, even finding friends who experienced being raped also. I was an unwed mother and talking with other unwed mothers did me alot of good. All I can say is to ask the Lord to take away the hurt and abuse that it caused you physically and mentally and ask Him to help you get thru each day one by one and in time it will get further away from wanting to think about it. Just remember, many are the trials of the righteous but God will see you thru them. God Bless and keep you.

  17. daisyrose says:

    in my country new zealand if the rape report , to police ,, they arrange for counselling up 2 3 mths for the girl it cover by gov dept here so it free,, case go to court, and he proven guilty she is award a lumps some of money from the govt…he go inside..

  18. Lil says:

    i am so sorry
    but if i were you i would talk to some one close to you and take a self defense class

  19. Marie T says:

    I am really sorry this happened to you. It must have been horrible.
    You should take steps to regaining your confidence and recovering. Get counceling, and if you know who did it, turn him in.
    Maybe take some slef-defense classes so you can be more confident walking down the street everyday.
    Again, I am really sorry this happened to you.
    I hope everything works out for you.

  20. J S says:

    youneed help to learn how to deal with it, make sure you get counceling or a support group, you have to find something it works for you.

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