How to deal with your problems without turning to drinking and drugs?

I’m grateful for being healthy and having a great job. However, I’ve had to deal with a lot of traumatic experiences this past year.
1-I cut off my family a year ago. After a messy divorce, my dad used me as his ATM, emotionally blackmailing me whenever I refused to lend him money and my mom treated me like I was her rival. All my life, she put me down and saw me as a threat. My brother and sister are selfish and very materialistic. So many people said "But they are your parents!" and expected me to put up with harmful behavior just because!
2- I also had to get rid of a couple of friends who turned out to be fake.

I don’t drink or do drugs but I know a lot of poeple who seem happy and drink their sorrows away. I try to exercise but sometimes, my heart is very heavy and I would do anything for instant relief. I’d like to focus on the blessings in my life, not what I’ve lost. How do I get rid of the negative thoughts,let go of the bitterness and anger towards people who wronged me and heal?

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5 Responses to “How to deal with your problems without turning to drinking and drugs?”

  1. christine,rice cake queen says:

    Everybody has to learn to deal with whatever comes their way, and in my experience, everyone gets negative stuff of one kind or another
    For example, one friend whose elegant house and ideal family I’ve always admired has now found out she’s got a brain tumour. See what I mean.
    Best advice I can give is to make a real effort to dwell on the positive aspects of your life rather than the traumas
    And instead of turning to drugs and / or drink, make time to look after your mind and body. Do exercise you enjoy , whether it’s dancing when no- one’s there, jogging, cycling, swimming. I sometimes take a train to the coast just to look at and walk by the sea because it’s therapy for me
    Seek out people who cheer you up and enjoy their company, see a film, go for a drink, whatever
    Do hobbies or read stuff that makes you feel better
    Take time out once a day to sit in a quiet room , on a straight chair or on the floor with your legs crossed. Close your eyes and breathe steadily for a few minutes then start taking breaths in,and out again for 1 – 10 seconds each, then back down to one. By then, you’ll feel very calm. Then kneel on the floor with your head tucked in and arms stretched out, still breathing steadily and slowly for a minute. Sit up and either think calm thoughts, or say your prayers
    Enjoy simple, good food. Forget ready meals, junk food, rubbish. Cook nice little meals, present them well on a table or tray .
    You are worth it, after all …..

  2. Damon Calloway says:

    There is no other way.

  3. Jared says:

    Just makes you more sad, truthfully you need to meditate.. Not for spiritual reasons but to clear your mind.. Try it and you might like it

  4. Tina says:

    honestly, the bible. i have had a very crappy life and i read a chapter in the bible everyday- its the only thing that helps me. pray to god and ask him for someone to come and help you find happiness and the real meaning of life- along with real friends… you will get a good answer and feel much better.

  5. Mary Kate says:

    It is definitely not the answer, it messes things up even more. This might sound really cliche, but write about it. About how you feel. Your parents obviously are not helping you in any way. I think you just need to separate from the situation. Yeah they seem happy, but at what cost? Their own health and the well being of everyone around you. I was 12 and I had my friends over while my mom was out drinking with her friends. She came home drunk and it was insane. My friends are still terrified to go anywhere near my house. Do you really want to be the cause of someone’s troubles? I sympathize but honestly, I’ve been through lots of traumatic things and you’ve just got to learn that it’s not your problem. Your family can’t control your character, who you are. Make new friends, ones that are genuine. If you start those things, it’ll be harder, especially with finding real friends.

    Good luck and happy holidays:)

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