What is he best way to deal with the onset of Alzheimer's in a very dear friend?

A good friend has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s and I need some advice on the best way to deal with it.

When we go anywhere they insist that we have been before. In conversation they think they have said things they haven’t, re convinced I have said things I haven’t. This is in the space of a couple of sentences.

Should I keep correcting them, agree with them of ignore it.

Please help ~ I don’t want to add to their distress and confusion.

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3 Responses to “What is he best way to deal with the onset of Alzheimer's in a very dear friend?”

  1. kid on the block says:

    Part of the problem is that when they have done or said something (or even thought about doing or saying something) they are not sure who was there or even whether it actually happened. Encourage them to write down important things so that they can consult their notebook.

    If it isn’t important don’t flatly contradict them. Say something like, I must have forgotten, tell me again. Or, I think you might have gone there with someone else; but if it is really trivial, just ignore them and carry on the conversation.

    In general, the more recent the memory the more fragile it is, old memories tend to be preserved. Your friend may well find pleasure in remembering happy times you had together, especially if there is a photograph or something you can use to jog their memory. Music is often a good trigger, I have seen people in Care Homes joining in singing popular hymns or songs from their youth when they can hardly get a word out in normal speech.

    My grandmother, when she was losing track of her current friends and relatives met someone she knew as a young woman but hadn’t seen for years, she remembered her, but by her maiden name not her married one.

    Concentrate on having happy times with your friend, the sense that you are her friend will persist even after she (or he) has forgotten your name.

  2. nicevideoshameaaboutthesong says:

    it’s a very difficult one. i found with my mother that a lot of touching went down well, particularly hands and face, and telling them how much you love them.

    i’d agree with most things they say, even if you know them to be wrong. depending on how well you know the people, i’d just say, from time to time, i’m only agreeing with you cos i love you. i said that to my mum a couple of times and she laughed her head off!

    good luck

  3. Daniel says:

    My mother had Alzheimer’s and it was sad and very difficult to cope with her behavior. We were told never to correct her so we did our best not to, often it is better to agree.

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