Why Is My 20 Year Old Son So Unmotivated?

Hi…my son is 20 years old. He attends the local college, part time, and has no job….he worked with his dad at the family business for about 18 months, but he was not doing his job properly…he would leave early, come in late, sit on the computer, forget to take important messages…so, after many chances, my husband hired someone else, who would be reliable….my son had many warnings…anyway, that was months ago…he hasn’t even looked for a job….then he decided he would help with the construction part of the job with his dad, instead of the “sales”…my husband thought it was a good idea, and gave him another shot….
Well, 2 hours ago, he called me saying..”I’m not doin this ****”…”you guys just want me to take over the business, and it’s not what I wanna do”…..WTF? It’s part time work!! 2 days a week!! He is going away to school in September, so we definitely DO NOT expect him to “take over”…BUT, he needs $$$, and experience..!! He can’t even nail a picture into a wall!! I told him NOT to leave, and “stick it out”…he flat out told me “NO”…so I told him…”don’t come home until you find a job”…
So sick of his laziness….he keeps saying how he “got into the school he wanted”…..so what? does that mean he doesn’t have to do ANYHING ELSE for the rest of his life? What will he say when he graduates…” I graduated from that school”….???!!!
I am so upset and disappointed with him….all he has to do is work 2 days a week….and he wants to quit!! I’m worried about him…what kind of a man will he be if that is too much for him?
Any ideas on how to approach this with him? Hes very sensitive…and defensive….and really doesn’t listen anyway….I’ve tried talking, yelling, ignoring…I don’t give him a penny (hoping that the desire for money will motivate him)…nothing works…
So today, I yelled “don’t come home till you get a job”…he texted me back…”lol…ok”…

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3 Responses to “Why Is My 20 Year Old Son So Unmotivated?”

  1. Wes: i dont give thumbs down says:

    sounds like he was spoiled as a child. ether way, you can not help anyone unless they are looking for help, just let him be on his own until he grows up

  2. Exit 117 says:

    Stop being an enabler to him.

  3. Corina says:

    Well im 20 a college grad, living on my own for 3 years, work and im getting married next year. SO hearing this makes me think WHAT? Anyway why would he work if he doesnt have to??? He knows you will let him live there for free. THOUGH LOVE! Actually kick him out, say if your not working and contributing you cant stay here … if you dont force him to do it he never will!

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